well, I've got Mice......and they're goin' down!

due to some construction on my building these little freaks keep showing up in my flat. No doubt seeking refuge from the eartquakes that are destroying whatever little home they had built in the wall of the flat 2 floors up. Although I have sympathy for their plight, I have laid out the traps and they are going down!

I've heard the 'humane' arguement and to those of you who think it is cruel to kill the mice that infest your home, I ask you this; What is humane about catching a mouse in a tube and dumping it in the woods 3 miles from where it grew up so that it can be eaten by an owl or another predator? Why not snap its neck so it feels no pain? now, that's considerate.

Besides, the word humane relates a lot more to the human than it does the mouse, does it not? As the human in this current mouse vs man equation I think I'll look out for number 1. do you know how much a 'humane' mouse trap costs? Answer; £12. Ridiculous. I propose you do the real humane thing and kill the mouse with a £2 trap and give the £10 you've saved to a homeless guy. Now, that's considerate.

Ok, well it kinda works, but for the most part, NOPE. I'm a criminal, and I didn't even leave my property

Yes, I guess it is too late but screw it, I still feel that I'm waiting for this 'New' year to kick off! I seem to still be going through the same 'ol shit. Can you believe that my car got clamped on New Years day!?! A bank holiday! You know what makes matters worse is that I was in my own parking spot outside MY OWN flat! Sure my pass had expired by 11 hours but I had written a huge letter in my dash that I hadn't received my new pass yet and I had sat it right next to my expired pass thinking that human empathy would prevail. NOPE. Of course not. I emerged from my flat on the 6th of January to see that I had been clamped on the first. THE FIRST!! DICKS! I can't believe that I had tried to hide in my flat for the first week of the year to avoid the random cost and douchebaggery that exists out there and you know what.......they came and got me anyway!!

To make matters worse when I tried to complain, they hit me back with "why have you taken so long to correspond with us?" "it's too late now"......well fuckers, that's because it was parked right outside MY OWN flat. Am I supposed to check my car every day regardless of whether or not I want to use it. Tell me why the English won the war again? Dicks. The same kind of DICKS that annoyed me last year. Thanks for being a human.

So, anyway, I'm still going to keep wishing everyone a "Happy New Year" until I feel we've really got started

For now, I have to go out and scrub the Clamp where I seem to have written 'I'M A RESIDENT, UNCLAMP ME YOU ASSHOLES AND DO NOT TOW ME!',......my friend says that Nail polish remover will do the trick. I hope so because apparently ACE SECURITY (aka the dickheads) have threatened to charge me with criminal damage to their clamp.

right, I'M THE BAD GUY!

Happy New year everyone

So, I've still been busy since the festival came to and end. I did some shows in Malta for the first time last month, and of course there was Bestival which was nothing to shake a shitty stick at. The weather was great, and the music was eventful. It broke my heart a little bit to see Flava Flav hocking his new book so much in between songs tho. I discovered my new favorite band Katzenjammer there as well. I believe the common conception was that they're strumpets with trumpets. A special thank you to Matt Kirshen for doing all the field research on that one.

All in all it was a great Edinburgh Festival, and now I'm keeping busy with lots of gigs and trying to iron out my schedule for next year. ooooh, an olympic year. I applied for frikkin tickets and what did I get?......nothing! nice system. Anyway,.....with lots of local work going on (and by local, I mean inside the UK) it's really nice to be putting in some couch time now that I have my flat back.

I'm actually taking off for a little holiday this week before heading to Switzerland to do shows for The Funny Laundry next week.

its a tough tough job sometimes